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Dare to Theatre, but what about film?

February 25th, 2008 by kmccu0sh

I love theatre, that is certain.  But there is something else that I am passionate about, which is film.  I think about why I love theatre and then I think about why I love movies and then I try to choose which one I am more attached to and it is impossible.  The article about Patrick Stewart a couple weeks ago talked about how one person will say that actors do television because they aren’t good enough for theatre and another person will say that people do theatre because they can’t get television work.  I’m not sure either of those statements are true, and I think it just proves that they are completely different media, neither better than the other.  There is no other feeling like that of being on stage in front of an audience, all eyes on you, intent on hearing what you have to say; the immediate reaction you recieve and the accomplishment you feel when you have entertained or moved or educated a group of people.  I don’t know what it is like on a film set, but I’m sure it is a completely different feeling but for the film actor, one that is equally powerful.  Or maybe it is the feeling of their film being released and learning how people have accepted it. I don’t know what it is about the film industry that captures my interest so strongly but there is a feeling I get when I see a good movie or I watch the behind the scenes features about what it is like making a movie that moves me so intensely and I want so badly to be a part of it.  The Oscars were last night.  And yes, I watched them from beginning to end.  I realize they are sort of superfluous and meaningless in a lot of ways, but I can’t help but picture them as my future.  Maybe some day I will be a part of it and I will despise it and realize theatre really is where I belong, but I won’t know until I have the experience.  I know that it is possible to do both film and theatre, and I am hoping to be able to achieve that.  I wish that I could articulate everything that I have in my  head about these two passions that I have and the different affects they have on me, but I can barely wrap my head around it to understand it myself.  Basically, I want to do it all and maybe some day I will do it all and will be able to verbalize exactly what it is about these two art forms that is so meaningful to me.  But for now, I will just strive to do what is important to me, and learn along the way.

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Where in the World is my Motivation?

February 19th, 2008 by kmccu0sh

Remember that game Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?  I loooved it.  We had a goldfish and named it Carmen Sandy Fish.  Because we’re cool like that.  It actually lived for a really long time.  Well, I’m just lost for words.  Quite literally.  I started off the semester feeling very inspired and motivated regarding this blogging business and I thought I would keep it up, but it seems I have lost something.  I’ve already blogged about being uninspired so I won’t do it again, but I do wish something would come along and spark my interest enough to get me thinking critically about it so that I can have something worth while to write about on here.  I’m in Far Away and it’s been really great.  My one and only appearance on the main-stage before I graduate, and I have had a lot of fun.  Granted, it hasn’t been an ordinary acting experience, but I’m glad I was able to be a part of it.  Acting really is what I want to do and it is a shame I wasn’t able to realize that earlier, or more importantly that I wasn’t able to get the nerve up to audition sooner in my college career.  All is not lost, though–at least I hope not.  That is what I am hoping to find out with this class and my research project–how I can get started without a lot of experience coming out of college.   Not all actors started in college, so how can I get the training and experience I need in order to move forward and get on the stage, where I want to be?  It is my intention to answer that question and more in the course of this research project and to have a clearer view of where I am going in life and how I am getting there.  And praying for the best all the while.

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16 days 15 hours 21 minutes

February 12th, 2008 by kmccu0sh

Merlin’s beard!  I was just looking at David’s blog and checked out his countdown to when we go to New York City and as the title of this blog indicates, it is just over two weeks.  And frankly, I had a bit of a heard attack.  I am nowhere near having contacts or interview options and I am just a little concerned.  I am also wondering what happened to the actual trip plans.  Do we have a place to stay?  Do we know what shows we are seeing?  How are we getting there?  Have these things been decided and I am just oblivious, or what is happening?  I need to start doing yoga or some sort of zen exercises or something because otherwise this semester is going to drive me to the asylum.

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Tiiime, why you punish meeee?

February 9th, 2008 by kmccu0sh

I cannot believe how fast the semester is going.  On one hand, I am so glad because I want to be done with college as soon as possible, but on the other hand I am finding it really hard to find the time to get all my work done and I am freaking out.  I am prone to anxiety attacks and it makes life a little harder.  Not to mention the fact that I am still completely oblivious as to what I am going to once I do graduate.  That I can figure out, getting there is the hard part.  Anyway, what I am mostly worried about at the moment is finding sources/contacts for my research project for this class.   I am focusing on acting, especially on how go about it without much experience starting out.  I just feel like time is slipping away so fast and I am falling farther and farther behind on everything, but I know I have to focus especially on this class in order to get a lot out of it.  On a lighter note, I really enjoyed seeing everyone’s digital stories the other night.  I actually learned new things about people that I never knew, so that was really cool.  I enjoyed all of them, but I was particularly impressed by some of them.  I wish mine had turned out a little better, but I thought it was pretty good and I’m glad the penguin video went over well.  It made me realize how great the final projects are going to be and how excited  I am about this whole process.  I was also extremely glad to hear that we got a good sized grant.  Even though I am feeling anxious about the class, I am started to get a little more excited about it all now that we have more money and have talked about our projects and it’s getting closer to our big trip.

In conclusion, I’m freakin’ out but excited.

Time
You ain’t no friend of mine
I don’t know where I’m going
I think I’m out of my mind
Thinking about time

-hootie and the blowfish (just in case you were wondering where my title came from)

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Lack of Inspiration

February 5th, 2008 by kmccu0sh

It seems I am finding it considerably difficult keeping up with my blog.  I haven’t posted in a while and I can’t seem to find the proper motivation or inspiration for doing so.  Reading other people’s blogs, I get a little discouraged by the fact that they (you) have so much to say and it’s deep and interesting.  I know I’m not supposed to worry about making it deep and interesting, but I guess life just isn’t inspiring me lately.  Mostly, I am ready to relocate.  There comes a point in my life every now and then where I start to feel trapped and get sick of where I am and just plain want to get the hell out of Dodge, as they say.  I am feeling that way to the extreme at the moment.  My first two years of college were amazing.  I had a huge group of friends, I maintained fairly good grades and just had a blast in general.  In the past two years a lot has changed.  Not that change is bad, but in this case it has had a negative affect.  I have essentially lost that great core group of friends I had grown so close to and so my social life has downspiraled to the point where I have very little to keep my mind off of the dreadful bane of my existence, which is school work.  I despise negative attitudes, I hate whining, but I can’t seem to stop myself from exhibiting both.  I’ve always done well in school, but I’ve never liked it.  College has been an incredible experience that has shaped me in a lot of ways and I am glad for it.  BUT I really abhor most of what it entails: reading boring textbooks, writing essays, sitting in a class room for hours on end, reading, writing, sitting.  LET ME OUTSIDE!  Which is why I love theatre so much.  Granted, we don’t get outside much, but it involves enough  hands-on work that keeps me sane.  Anyway, this post is becoming a whine fest, which is not what I want.  I just wanted to vent my feelings a little.  This semester is a busy one, and it is going to be valuable, I’m sure.  Ideas in Performance will hopefully leave me with a lot of helpful information and resources to get me started in the real world.  It’s just going to be a lot of work.  I know I am not alone and a lot of people feel this way, soI just need to get my act together, get motivated and make myself do what needs to be done and not fall behind.   I’ve got three months left, I need to make it worth it.

My next post better be good to make up for this…

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